To Homeschool or Not to Homeschool

I originally posted this article in 2010 on Inkwell Inspirations. It received great response and lots of shares because every parent wants to do what is best for their children. They just aren't always sure what that is. So I think this article deserves to be re-posted from time to time.

With the beginning of the school year, as is so often the case these days in Christian circles, parents all around me are agonizing over their decisions to homeschool or not to homeschool. Homeschooling is a great thing and a growing trend. However, in response to that positive trend, I’ve noticed people homeschooling their children for the wrong sort of reasons, and as someone who has worked in education, this causes me great concern. Perhaps the word homeschooling brings to mind multilingual 3rd graders doing calculus for fun, but it rarely turns out that way.

I sent my children to Christian school for three years, I homeschooled for five, and now my children are about to enter their seventh (oldest is in college now) year of public school. So, I have seen the pros and cons of all the choices. That’s exactly what it comes down to. Pros and cons. Each system of education has advantages and disadvantages. No one should feel pressured by anyone else into making a choice that doesn’t fit their family. I firmly believe that schooling decisions should be made year by year and child by child according to the leading and direction of the Holy Spirit. However, if you are struggling with your choice, I’ve put together some checklists that might help you discern God’s will in this area.

Good Reasons to Homeschool
1. Peace and faith that God is calling you to homeschool
2. More quality time with your children
3. Flexible schedule and relaxed educational environment
4. Individualized educations for your children
5. You love to teach
6. Your child is involved in a time consuming extra-curricular activity
7. Making relationships with other homeschoolers
8. A chance to help your children grow in the Lord
9. The cost of private school in your area is excessive
10. Your area’s public schools are particularly dangerous or blatantly promoting an ungodly agenda

Bad Reasons to Homeschool
1. Fear for your child’s safety
2. Fear of the financial pressure of private school
3. Fear of the “liberal agenda”
4. Desire to shelter your children
5. Desire to be the only influence in your child’s life
6. Pressure from church, family, or even spouse
7. You think it will fix your relationship problems with your children
8. You will feel guilty if you don’t
9. You don’t really see the need for so much education, especially for girls
10. Desire to impress others with your self-sacrifice

Good Reasons Not to Homeschool
1. God is not calling you to homeschool
2. You have peace and faith about a different choice
3. You can not adequately meet your child’s needs at home
4. Your child desires more socialization
5. There is no homeschool community and support system in your area
6. Your child needs special education or advanced opportunities
7. Your child needs a structured environment or experienced teacher
8. God’s calling on your life conflicts with homeschooling
9. You have great public schools in your area
10. You have great Christian schools in your area and God has provided the finances or the faith that he will supply the finances

Here’s what it comes down to: the Bible says whatever is not of faith is sin. If your decision for this school year has been based on fear, guilt, pressure, laziness, or pride—it’s sin. Turn back now while you still can!!! If your decision for this school year has been made based on faith, love, and hope, then proceed with confidence that God will supply your needs, and that where you are weak, he will be strong.

Yes, there are specific school districts that are truly dangerous, or that  purposefully promote an ungodly agenda, but these are few and far between. At the end of the day, the vast majority of teachers, principals, and administrators in this nation place the well-being and education of their students as their first priority. And where they might have weaknesses, God’s strength can see your children through. Homeschooling should be a lifestyle choice and a response to God’s individual call for you and your children for that specific school year, not a theology or political agenda.

If you do decide to homeschool, for the love of all that’s holy, do a good job at it! Your child should receive an equal or better education at home than they would in the public school system. Otherwise, you are withholding opportunities from them that they deserve. No matter your personality or the personalities of your children, God can give you the wisdom to be a good homeschool parent. And he will do so, and give you strength in your weakness, if this is something he has called you to do.

And remember, while your children should be your first priority, you should also give consideration to your own health, well-being, and calling. You are just as precious in God’s sight as your children. If you are depressed, unfulfilled, or overwhelmed, not only will you not be a good homeschooler, you won’t be a good mother or wife either. So ultimately, you are serving your children’s best interest by taking good care of yourself.

I loved my homeschooling years, until I didn’t anymore. I felt called to homeschool for a time. When that season was over, I put my children into public school with faith. Our experiences have been great. My children loved homeschooling during that time, and now they love public school. As I mentioned, the two oldest even went to Christian school for a season and loved that as well.

And so, let me close with a list of tips that will allow your children to succeed wherever God might call them.
1. Plead the blood of Jesus and angelic protection over your family daily
2. Pray that your children will be salt and light in a dark world
3. Teach your children to always be a blessing and encouragement to their teachers and friends
4. Teach your children to see the best in others and not be easily offended
5. Teach your children to extend God’s love to everyone
6. Teach your children that while we respect the beliefs of others, God’s word is our personal standard for truth
7. Make time each day to disciple your children in the word of God
8. Take ultimate responsibility for your children’s education
9. Encourage each of your children to be the individual God created them to be
10. Nurture the unique gifts and callings God has given your children

Any thoughts on homeschool, public school, or Christian school?

The Next Target

Last week my family spent over 40 hours in our mini-van driving my daughter to college in Oklahoma. Needless to say, we needed some good entertainment to keep us occupied, and we found great entertainment as well as thought-provoking subject matter in Nikki Arana's The Next Target, which (with a little technical know how from my husband) the kindle read to us over the van's speakers.

Here is the official blurb: 

It only took one bullet. Austia's friend and student fell dead. And with a glimpse of a newspaper headline, the young and recently widowed Austia knows more about what happened than the police. From that fatal night, Austia’s secret outreach to the U.S. Muslim community—in the guise of English language classes—becomes a target. Local Muslim extremists set their sights on ending her ministry and even her life. And the women she ministers to will be next.

A thick web of deceit closes in around Austia, and her circle of friends becomes smaller by the day, even as she finally opens herself to the idea of falling in love again. But who can she trust? Facing a spiritual battle that proves more treacherous than it at first seemed, Austia’s convictions are tested to their limits and her heart becomes primed for breaking. She must ask herself: how much she will risk to stay true to her herself, her faith, and to the lives of the women she serves?

What I loved about the book:

It kicked off with a bang--quite literally--and immediately drew us into this world of intrigue. And it gave a very exhaustive and educational view of the complex Muslim world. Austia had an amazing heart for these people. She is a true example of Christ on earth. Only at one brief point did the teaching aspect of the book become a touch heavy handed, but still it remained interesting, and was soon on to more twists and turns.

This book was great for the whole family. It had action, suspense, and romance, all the while dealing with an important issue. Mind you, my youngest family member is eleven, and it would be too violent for younger children. But he often paused from playing his video games to ask us significant questions about the culture and characters that proved the book had his mind working overtime.

Throughout all of this, Nikki provides a thrilling, well-paced story. The ending is full of excitement and will keep you guessing right up until the satisfying conclusion.

Do you know much about Islam? Do you desire to learn more? In addition to Nikki's wonderful novel, don't forget that my women's fiction take on the Muslim culture, Dance from Deep Within, will be coming out with WhiteFire in October, and my music CD about the Muslim people is available now at http://acryforpeace.com. 

Inside, Outside, Upside Down Christianity

This week I'll be driving my daughter to her freshman year of college, and that has me thinking about this post that I wrote several years ago:

Inside, Outside, Upside Down Christianity


In college I remember writing a poem that began with those words from the famous children's book. “Inside, outside, the whole world is upside down.” At the time I was attending a Christian university in the middle of the Bible belt South, and more often than not, what I saw was Christianity focused on outward issues.

In a way it made sense, I guess. The Christian university would have had a hard time dictating that we all put others first, have loving, intimate relationships with Christ, hear his voice and walk according to the moment by moment leading of the Holy Spirit.

It was much easier to say you had to wear skirts everyday that came to the tops of your knees (that would be for the girls of course, and I must confess, I’m cool with guys not being allowed to wear skirts.) For the guys it was daily ties, short hair, and no earrings or beards. There were rules about swearing and alcohol and mandatory church attendance. We had a student honor code and dress code and dorm rules (if you were under 22 and unmarried you had to live in the dorms). The rules went on and on and they were all focused on who we were on the outside and the sort of impression we gave the community and the all important donors.

Now there’s not anything wrong with any of those rules in and of themselves, although few had anything to do with actual Biblical principles. I’m sure they were all designed to make us disciplined individuals and productive people, but rules were not going to lead us one iota closer to Christ. In fact, in a lot of cases, the severity of the rules caused people to rebel.

You may have a hard time believing this from your friendly neighborhood free-spirited, heavy-metal-loving author, but I was raised to have great respect for rules and authority, and I do. There were basically three responses to these excessive rules in college: students who didn’t mind them and followed them, students who ignored them and didn’t care, and students who were in constant angst, feeling that the rules were ridiculous and unfair, but who wanted to honor God by following the rules. In other words students who wanted to live from the inside out. In other words, me.

Okay, I feel like I’m caught in the college years, kind of like when I have nightmares about wandering through campus without my schedule or being forced to live in the dorms with three kids. Let’s fast forward to today. Today, I’m raising my own teenagers. And I’m not raising them in dormitories or with upside down Christianity that focuses on outward standards. I’m raising them to live as I long to live, from the inside out.

Outside-in Christianity is a result of focusing on law. In the Old Testament God gave us law because Christ had not yet died on the cross for us. The Ten Commandments are great and all, but did you ever stop to consider that there weren’t just ten, there were hundreds? If you want to live by the law, shouldn’t you follow them all? The law brings death. Jesus brings life. We are now living under a new covenant. A covenant with principles, not law. A covenant where God calls us to a higher standard and demands our very hearts.

* Note: I wanted to insert a scripture here, but I pretty much needed to quote at least one gospel and most of Paul’s epistles. So, you know what, just re-read the whole New Testament. It certainly won’t hurt you.

Did you ever stop to consider that for several thousand years of mankind’s history there was no law? God judged by the heart for at least 2,500 years (let’s not get into a debate over the creation date here, cause I really don’t care). Only for the last 1500 or so years before Jesus did we have the law. The law was revealed so that man would understand how far we lived from God’s standard of holiness, and that we could never, ever, meet God’s expectations on our own. We needed a savior.

And he sent one, who died on the cross to redeem us from our sin and reconcile us to himself. He now wants us to live by basic principles. The law of love. The fruit of the spirit. We need to know his word, yes. Absolutely. Not because we need to reach our daily quota of Bible reading, but because God renews our mind through his word. Because God reveals his character in his word, and we need to know him as a best friend. We need to pray, yes. Because how can you be intimate with someone you don't communicate with? We need to be in church, yes. Because we need the fellowship of other believers to help us grow in our walk with the lord. Because we are one body in Christ, and we need to function together to reach out to a hurt and dying world. We need to live a holy life, yes. Because it pleases God and keeps Satan from getting entrance into our lives.

But living a holy life goes much further than keeping the Ten Commandments. (Read those epistles one more time please. Seriously, it will be good for you.) It involves dying to self, putting others first, extending love to the world around us. No more gossip or gluttony or lust. No more worry or condemnation--bitterness, despair, or low self-esteem. We are God’s children. His heirs. A royal priesthood. His ambassadors to the world.

But we’ll never get there on our own.

We’re going to fall short. God is well aware of that. That was his whole point in sending a savior. It’s almost as if the outside-in people act like Christ saved them once, and it’s been their job to save themselves everyday since.

This simply is not what the Bible says. Anywhere. God wants our hearts. A much higher standard than the law. He is not out to zap us. He has paid the price to secure our eternal destiny. He wants relationship with us that flows from the inside out.

Just think about it, Christianity that flows from the outside in (if such a thing can even truly exist) would get stuck there. On the inside. No wonder these upside-down, outside-in Christians have such little impact on the world. Christianity from the inside out flows, well, outward. Like a river of living water to quench the needs of a hurt and dying generation. Christianity from the inside out releases God’s kingdom from deep within our hearts to everyone we encounter.

So no more upside down Christianity. Let’s all live from the inside out!